Smoky will be offering his talents, techniques and secrets discovered over the last 150 years, or so. He will be to the point, pull no punches and if you suffer through the process, you will become a much better outdoor cook, turning out masterpiece meals for friends and family alike.

In this column, Smoky will offer several ways to cook your turkey and one way that should be avoided! . . . . . . take notes!

So, with no further adieu, we turn the mike to Smoky. You're on Smoky . . . . .

Long, long ago a great storm came and wind blew and rain poured for many days. The campfires were drowned out all across the land. It was the beginning of Winter and our people were cold.

We called on our friends for help to find any fire remaining. The birds held a council and offered their help. The eagles and the ospreys circled high with sharp eyes intent. The kites and hawks spread out across the land and gave shrill cries and hovered in likely places.

One by one they returned - without success. And the earth grew colder and the sky became darker. And the people were afraid.

Then a small brown sparrow found one faint, small coal flickering dimly in a half burned stump. The people rushed to find fuel to keep the coal from dying. But all the wood was wet.

Then the turkey stepped forward and began to fan the coal with his wing. The coal glowed and grew larger and larger. Finally it burst into flame. All the feathers were singed from the turkeys head and red blisters raised up. Because he saved fire for the world, his descendants have borne red blisters instead of feathers on their heads in memory of his deed. To honor his bravery and service, we use a turkey wing to fan the camp fire.

This delightful legend adds even more flavor to a spectacular taste of smoked turkey.

Smoked turkey can be dressed up or down. It forms the center of an all time great sandwich and is the beginning of many delicious variations. Unfortunately, like most things, a good smoked turkey is hard to find. If you don't have a talented, generous friend, you just about have to do it yourself.

Turkey smoking is not for the intense, "Type A" personality. It is the sort of activity that combines well with a triple-header football Saturday. It provides the perfect prophylactic to unwanted invitations, "I'd like to, but I'm smoking turkeys." And it would go well with a re-reading of "War and Peace."

Get a right turkey. I prefer fresh. Not "sort of" or "semi" but real fresh. If you use frozen, follow carefully the producers instructions for thawing. And not a large one. 12-14 pounds is big enough. The heavyweight 20+ pounders create too many problems. It is safe to assume that all poultry has some little salmonella bacteria lurking about. Poultry, properly prepared and cooked, is safer than a baby's teething ring. But, large birds and low temperatures create opportunities whose knock you do not wish to hear.

Prepare the grill for smoking Turkey - temperature 170-190 degrees for prolonged periods; sweet smoke of fruitwoods (apple, pear) white oak, hickory; hardwood charcoal.

Trim excess fat and skin flaps and wash thoroughly under running water. Place directly on the grill. No salt; no seasonings.

Close down the grill. Adjust your air flow to maintain about 170 degrees. Go taste your favorite beverage or check out your game plan. Check back in about an hour to assure that you adjustments were what you thought they were. Adjust if required. Then find something to do for the next 15-18 hours.

How often you need to check the grill depends upon how long your grill will maintain the proper temperature range without your attention. How long you carry on, depends on how long it takes the center of the thickest part of the bird to reach 165 degrees.

The bird should have the same color if he had spent the summer on the beach. The meat should have a pink ring of smoke penetration. When sliced, juices should run clear. The meat should be moist and tender.

You may remove it at once to cool or reduce the temperature and lay on a fresh coating of new smoke. Allow the bird to cool before slicing in your usual professional manner. Try not to eat it all before everybody gets a taste.

One of the things for which I am always thankful this time of the year is the good taste our forefathers showed in selecting the centerpiece for the Thanksgiving meal.

They could have had armadillo. Or worse still - spinach souffle' or cauliflower quiche. If they gotten together in California, we might be celebrating over "a medley of tofu and frangipani blossoms."

Thoughts like that make you want to rush out and kiss a turkey in the mouth. Just in case you have never done that before.

Actually, roast turkey, for the first two or three days, is pretty good gobblin's. After that, my enthusiasm wanes more than it waxes. And, I will admit, up front, that I have never been partial to turkey hash - by any name.

In considering the merits of the rare bird, its only flaw is that it has grown too large. If turkeys dressed out somewhere between the size of a bob white quail and a Cornish hen, stores couldn't keep them in stock.

Presumably, the large size is what makes the turkey seem such a bear when most folks consider cooking it. I can't imagine anything simpler. Put it in the grill at 325-350 degrees and leave it alone until it is done. Done, of course, is when the thermometer, inserted in the thickest part of the thigh, registers 165 degrees.

That's the way the pilgrims did it. No plastic bags, no simmering in water and without benefit of pop-up plastic pegs. This Thanksgiving, why not do your turkey the old fashioned way - don't work at it.

One medium size turkey - 12-14 lbs., preferably fresh. If frozen, thaw overnight in the refrigerator. Remove miscellany from cavity and wash thoroughly. Close the neck opening with the flap, and stuff the cavity with:

1 Cup chopped onions
1 Cup chopped celery with leaves
3 bay leaves
1 T. thyme
1 T. rubbed sage
2 cups apple sauce or chopped apples
Stop the opening with a hard French roll or any other suitable, edible.

Fire up the grill for 325 degrees for about 3 1/2 hours. Use white oak and apple wood for flavoring. But lightly. A small amount of smoke, over a 4 hour period, totals up to a heap.

Put the bird on the grill, breast up, and button down the lid. Go catch a football game. No need to even peek until the first half is over. Just make certain that the temperature is steady. Exhaust from the stack should not be less than 310 degrees.

If you are watching a pro game, the bird will almost be finished when the game is. If it is a college game, you will have time to rehash the game before the bird is ready.

After total Time On Grill is about 3 hours, insert the thermometer in the thigh without touching bone, and take a reading. If the temperature is not at least 150, crank up the heat a bit.

When the temperature reaches 165 degrees, remove the turkey and allow it to sit for 10-15 minutes before carving. Be careful, when moving the bird, not to lose the stuffing. It is hot.

Demonstrate your carving prowess and serve a little of the stuffing on the side. Provide fresh ground black pepper and salt.

Give thanks to our founders. Turkeys are much simpler to carve than armadillos.

It's getting close to turkey day again. How strange we are to ignore a tasty, economical source of protein ten months out of the year. Unlike chicken, which we consume year round, we reserve turkey for that period between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Surely our tradition drives the turkey producers up the wall.

Besides tradition, turkeys present a few differences from chicken that make some folks hesitate. Their large size puts off some people. Even if they have a large oven and time, not many enjoy turkey seven days in a row.

Then there are those who have a terminal case of over cook when it comes to turkeys. They consistently turn out turkey breast as dry as a dust devil's breath. To head off such disasters, they use elaborate schemes involving aluminum foil, roasting bags and even boiling.

Here is another place where a good grill and a little organized laziness comes to the rescue. These days it is relatively easy to buy smaller turkeys or even turkey breasts or thighs, year round.

Therefore there is no need to cook so much that you get sick of it before it is gone. Surprise yourself several times a year with a tasty turkey dish. The cooking part is easier than taking a nap.

Select a turkey that fits your needs - fresh, if available. I find the cheaper brands as good as the premium. If it is frozen, carefully follow the directions for thawing. Trim excess fat and skin and pat dry.

Fire up the grill for roasting - about 350 degrees. Build a good, large bed of coals and reduce the heat by closing down the air supply. Collect a small amount - 3-4 pounds of green fruit wood, white oak and hickory.

Sprinkle the turkey inside and out with a mixture of:

Garlic powder 1 teaspoon
Onion powder 1 teaspoon
Celery seed, ground 1 teaspoon
Sage 1 Tablespoon
Thyme 1 Tablespoon
Fresh ground black pepper 1 Tablespoon
Salt 1 Tablespoon

Place turkey on the grill, opposite the coals, breast up. Close the grill and go away for about an hour.

Check the temperature of the exhaust, look over the coals and put on a few pieces of green wood. If you must use chips or dried wood, soak in water for at least thirty minutes.

Maintain the temperature between 300 - 350 degrees with a gentle smoke floating from the exhaust. Tidy up, close the grill and go rest from your labors.

Check back in about an hour later and insert your handy thermometer in the center of the thickest part of the bird. When it reads 165 degrees, time is up. It is done. Remove and let it sit for about 20 minutes before carving.

It should be as juicy as the latest gossip and tender as a baby's sigh.

I am including this 1989 column, as embarrassing as it is to me, as a warning for all the wannabe turkey smokers.

Readers of The Great American Barbeque Instruction Book will recall that, in it, I caution against smoking turkeys until you know what you are doing. Readers of this column know that I am Mr. Clean when I handle poultry and I always use the thermometer to make certain that the internal temperature is at least 165 degrees before taking it off the grill.

You, no doubt, recall that I caution to always thoroughly and carefully scrub the knives, cutting boards, plates, pans and hands under hot soapy water after cutting or handling raw poultry. I even carefully clean the thermometer after checking temperature on poultry on the grill.

Yes, friends, I, Smoky Hale, Guru of the Grill, served up smoked turkey with the old enemy Salmonella still alive and kicking. It hospitalized two and made several quite ill. This is not the sort of information that one would normally want spread about. But, it is worth my embarrassment if telling the tale will keep you from doing the same thing.

Starting out, I did everything by the book. I thawed the frozen turkey breast overnight in the fridge, then submerged it in its package in a sink full of cold water - after I had carefully scrubbed the sink. When it was fully thawed, I removed the skin and trimmed it well.

I brought my grill to 200 degrees, laid on a pile of green fruit wood and hickory and placed the breast on the grill. I maintained the temperature between 175 and 200 degrees for about 8 hours before I checked the internal temperature of the breast with my industrial thermometer. It read about 145 degrees, so I added a few more coals and green wood, closed the lid and went away to play.

About 30 minutes later a thunderstorm commenced and hung around for too long. When it slackened a bit, I checked and found that the internal temperature of the breast had not risen appreciably. True to my code of caution, I took the breast inside, halved and deboned it to allow better heat penetration and placed it in a 350 oven for about 30 minutes.

When I checked temperature again by inserting the thermometer in a different location, it read 165 degrees and the two breast halves had all the appetizing appearance and delicious aroma of a perfectly smoked turkey breast. The taste lived up to the appearance. It was moist, tender and delicious. One half was consumed promptly. The other was sliced and refrigerated (after an hour or so) and served at lunch the following day. The second side was not the one in which I had inserted the thermometer.

It was three days later before symptoms began to show. The ill suffered four more days of misery before the final diagnosis was made. The days of misery for several people and several thousand dollars of expense might have been prevented, if I had checked the temperature of both breasts before taking them out of the oven.

There are two bacteria quite common to poultry and eggs. They are Staphylococcus and Salmonella. Staphylococcus is normally ingested from uncooked eggs - as in soft scrambled or in meringue or the picnic potato salad. The onset of symptoms from Staph normally starts within four hours with nausea and diarrhea. While it can be quite severe, your body normally rids itself of the bacteria within a few hours and recovery begins. Replacement of lost fluids is an important part of treatment. Rest and being kind to your stomach for a few days normally hastens recovery.

Salmonella is a germ of a different color. It lounges around in your body for from two to six days gathering strength like a hurricane. It comes on with fever, severe headache, nausea and diarrhea. In most cases, your body expels most of the intruders and your natural defenses take over to handle recovery - much like the recovery from Staph. But sometimes it is a monster.

Because symptoms do not occur until long after the tainted food is eaten, Salmonellosis it is harder to diagnose and attribute to a particular cause. It is usually only accurately identified after a culture is made.

Dr. Donnie Smith, a Gastroenterologist of some note, advises that anytime a combination of fever and severe headaches occur, contact your family doctor promptly since they may be symptoms of several illnesses. If diarrhea and vomiting become violent or do not promptly subside, contact with your physician is also appropriate.

The best defense against Staph and Salmonella is the old "Carnie" maxim: "Never give the suckers an even chance." Buy fresh or fresh frozen poultry. Keep it cold. Keep it clean. Wash everything carefully. And what ever else you do, cook it until it is all at least 165 degrees.

Personally, I am changing my tactics. In the future, instead of truly smoking poultry, I will roast it in heavy smoke at a temperature of not less than 225 degrees. The bird will pass through the temperature zone where bacteria can thrive much more quickly. And I don't believe you can tell the difference in the taste and texture. And I know I'll sleep easier for the few days following its consumption.

Smoky Has A New Book The Great American Barbecue & Grilling Manual 416 pages of great information and wonderful recipes. @ The Barbecue Store

Fun,
Smoky
C. Clark Hale
8168 Hwy 98 E.
McComb, MS 39648

Smoky's 5th basic position for really great barbecue'n.

'According to Smoky' is © by C. Clark Hale
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