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Topic: Banana Leaves and Luau . . . . From: Marka,
Subject: Fresh Ham Luau Style

I want to cook a fresh ham luau style. I plan to bury it under a large fire and cook it beneath the coals all day. I need help in what to wrap it in bannana leaves aren't available in Missouri. I'm afraid aluminum foil won't insulate it. Any ideas.

Marka

Hi Marka,

Luau is essentially pork cooked in a hermetical atmosphere in the most difficult fashion possible. Frankly, it is the pits. (Covered well in my "Great American Barbecue Instruction Book", however.

If you are seriously into the enjoyment of pain and hard physical labor, it is a snap. Dig a hole in the ground with 4 times the volumn of your ham. Fill the hole with hardwood and stack it to a height above ground level equal to the depth of the hole. Fire it up and let it burn to embers.

Wrap your ham in a moist all cotton pillow case and a couple of layers of wet burlap. Cover all of that with two layers of heavy duty aluminum foil.

When the wood is reduced to coals, shovel half of them out, shovel in a 3" layer of sand and put in the ham. Cover the ham with another 3 inches of sand and the rest of the coals. Cover the coals with 3" of sand, or the equivalent and go take a shower. If you enjoyed that part, consider checking into your local mental health center for a little consult or find a local S&M group.

After about 3 hours, the ham will be as good as it is going to get. Dig it out - carefully - and hose it down to wash off all the sand. Unwrap and serve. Go take another shower.

An easier way is to stick it into a large pressure cooker at 15lbs pressure for about 30 minutes.

Enjoy,
Smoky

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